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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25685677">escalation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse of Authority, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Touch-Starved Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Unhealthy Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:27:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25685677</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>aka a study in touch</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elias Bouchard/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>escalation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>genuinely didn't know how to tag this shit let me know if there's anything you think i should add</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s probably not a good sign that Jon can’t sit next to his boss without a thousand intrusive thoughts assaulting him. </p><p>He can’t stop imaging him running his hands up his thighs. Forcing him open, putting his mouth on his most intimate parts, his fingers wrapping around—</p><p>“Jon.” </p><p>“Yes Elias?” Jon asks, pulling his knees to his chest. They’re on the couch in the break room, listening to the radio playing the news behind them. Jon hasn’t been paying much attention, though. </p><p>“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says plainly. </p><p>Jon’s skin crawls, and he looks up in shock. “Wh-what do you mean?” </p><p>Elias smiles, and he scoots closer to him, radiating warmth. Jon wants to lean into his shoulder. He thinks that maybe if they could touch, maybe his mind would stop racing with horrifically obscene scenes. </p><p>But that would be inappropriate. Right? Right. So Jon doesn’t ask. </p><p>However, his breath does hitch as Elias wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into his side. Jon sucks in a breath, going rigid. <em> What the fuck is this? </em> </p><p>“I don’t want you to be afraid of me,” Elias says simply, rubbing Jon’s arm lightly. “You shouldn’t have to be so guarded right now. Here, here, relax. It’s alright.” </p><p>Jon hesitates. Then, he rests his head against Elias’s chest and squeezes his eyes shut. He probably shouldn’t be going along with this, but Christ, it’s nice to have some relief from the thoughts racing in his head. </p><p>“There you go. It’s alright,” Elias soothes. </p><p>“Um...thank you,” Jon mumbles. “But isn’t this...why are you...” </p><p>But then Elias’s fingers are stroking his hair and Jon kind of forgets how to speak. He doesn’t quite remember what having a father was like, but he thinks it might be something like this. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Are you attracted to me?” </p><p>Jon winces at the question. He’s in Elias’s office, held in his lap, head tucked up under his chin. He grips tight to his shirt, nuzzling into his neck with a gulp. </p><p>“I don’t know,” he admits. “Can’t you just hold me?” </p><p>He knows he sounds childish. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t understand why Elias is asking this. </p><p>Suddenly, he’s very aware of where he’s sitting. What’s under his ass. </p><p>“Mm. Just asking,” Elias hums with a laugh. </p><p>Jon gasps for air. He clings tighter to him and tries to focus on the feeling of Elias’s arms around his waist. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It’s quite a sight to see Elias Bouchard on his knees in front of him, nuzzling his nose against his inner thigh. </p><p>“I just want to make you feel good,” he says softly, and Jon swallows thickly, threading his fingers through Elias’s hair. </p><p>“I-I don’t think this is appropriate,” he says dumbly. </p><p>“Perhaps you’re right about that. Does that matter to you?” </p><p>Jon thinks about it for a moment. But then he has to stop thinking because his skin itches and his hands start shaking and he kind of feels like crying. </p><p>“I dunno,” he says truthfully. “I, uh. If we do this, um...would you want something in return?” </p><p>“What do you mean?” Elias asks, a hint of amusement in his tone. </p><p>“L-like...if you...if you do er. <em> Something </em> here, would you...” </p><p>“I won’t make you suck me off in return, if that’s what you’re asking.” </p><p>Jon’s face heats, and tears well up in his eyes unexpectedly. Oh. He shoves Elias’s face into his crotch so he doesn’t have to look at the gentle amusement in his eyes anymore. </p><p>“You overthink things,” Elias murmurs, running his fingers over Jon’s thighs. </p><p>“Just do it,” Jon mumbles. </p><p>Elias’s hands move to his waistband, and Jon closes his eyes and lets it happen. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“You’re sure you don’t...you don’t want me to...” </p><p>“I’m sure,” Elias says, pulling Jon closer. They’re in the cot in document storage, pressed close together. </p><p>Jon is suddenly very aware that he’s only in a t-shirt and boxer briefs. “Okay, but I can feel it against my leg,” he grumbles. “It’s very...” <em> Uncomfortable. </em> “...distracting.” </p><p>“Well. There’s a way to fix that.” </p><p>Suddenly, Elias is on top of him, pinning him to the mattress. Jon’s breath leaves him, and he squeezes his eyes shut as Elias grinds down against him. </p><p>He clings so tightly to the back of his shirt that his knuckles turn white. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>He cries when Elias is done. Elias strokes his hair and holds him through it, and Jon can’t tell if he hates him or not. </p><p>It feels good to be held, though. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>In the morning, Elias brings him coffee. Jon doesn’t care much for coffee, but it has enough cream and sugar in it that he doesn’t mind it too much. </p><p>They don’t talk about what happened. That’s probably for the best, Jon thinks, even as he leans into Elias’s side. </p><p>“I’m thinking omelets for breakfast,” Elias says casually. “There’s a place down the street that I think you’ll quite like.” </p><p>Jon doesn’t feel much like eating. His stomach is tied in knots, and he can feel uneasiness settle deep into the soft tissue of his guts. </p><p>“I’d rather have pancakes,” he still mutters, hissing a breath through his teeth. </p><p>Elias chuckles. “I believe they serve those too.” </p><p>“Oh. Wonderful.” </p><p>“Indeed,” Elias says, leaning over and kissing Jon’s temple. Jon grimaces, but he doesn’t respond otherwise. </p><p>They sit in silent for a few more moments, nursing their mugs. </p><p>“I love you,” Elias murmurs finally, tracing his finger down the bridge of Jon’s nose. </p><p>Jon shivers. He doesn’t say it back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>idk this is half a vent and half me being horny and touch-starved lmao</p></blockquote></div></div>
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